The OBHF Podcast: Ep. 3 – The Lincoln Bedroom
Reminiscing about how we found our home and the transition we’re now going through as we begin to clear out our son’s room – unexpected emotions just from clearing out a bookcase! Why we don’t believe in keeping your child’s room a shrine to them once they move out and how our son’s room will be transformed into a guest room a.k.a. the Lincoln bedroom.
In this episode you’ll find out about:
- Why house hunting while pregnant might not be the best idea (did someone say hormones?)
- How a house with no curb appeal was actually the house of our dreams
- The transformation of our son’s room
- An open invitation for house guests
Proudly Sponsored by:
Green Fresh Florals: www.greenfreshflorals.com
- OBHF Podcast, Ep. 3 - The Lincoln Bedroom
From the Dusty Urban Ham Shack studio of WB6QWD this is the Our Bird Has Flown podcast.
Paul M Bowers: Hi and welcome to the Our Bird Has Flown podcast, I’m Paul M Bowers and I’m joined today by my wife Indra Gardiner Bowers.
Indra Bowers: Good morning.
Paul M Bowers: What!
Indra Bowers: Oh, it might not be morning.
Paul M Bowers: Yeah, it might not be morning.
Indra Bowers:It could be anything.
Paul M Bowers: It could be an evening walk couldn’t it?
Indra Bowers:I’ll just say hello!
Paul M Bowers:Hi! And let’s all advise our friends behind the wheel to drive carefully.
Indra Bowers:[Laughter], Watch where you are going.
Paul M Bowers:Use your turn signals please!
Indra Bowers: Please don’t text and drive.
Paul M Bowers:Ah— I’ve lost it because I don’t know if we have any more advice for our driving friends, they know how to drive presumably.
Indra Bowers: I hope so.
Paul M Bowers: Hey, as usual we are going to start off with a word from our sponsors greenfreshflorals.com.Our friend Carlos Franco does a fantastic job on both custom bouquets and flowers and deliveries and fantastic corporate work but the new exciting thing is, using the photo studio the other day I photographed for him a whole bunch of plants and a whole bunch of pots and I’m talking about filling our very small postal stamp backyard with potted plants that we would bring in and photograph individually. The idea being that, you can now go onto greenfreshflorals.com, either now or soon and you can pick a plant and a pot and you can put them together making an order.
Indra Bowers: You can mix and match.
Paul M Bowers:Mix and match you can put it together the way that you want and then have it delivered, it’s a fantastic service and it’s really exciting so, that’s greenfreshfloral.com.
Indra Bowers:And I’ve seen the pots and they are modern and gorgeous.
Paul M Bowers:And the plants are modern… well.
Indra Bowers:[Laughter], They are plants.
Paul M Bowers:They are plants [mumbling], probably.
Indra Bowers:But they are pretty.
Paul M Bowers:Probably as old as dinosaurs aren’t they?
Indra Bowers:[Laughter], I don’t know maybe.
Paul M Bowers: Plants are as old as dirt.
Indra Bowers:[Laughter] Maybe that’s a whole other podcast, we’ll talk about plants with Carlos.
Paul M Bowers: But that’s not what we are talking about today.
Paul M Bowers: We are going to be talking about our house.
Indra Bowers:Our house and future plans.
Paul M Bowers: Yeah that’s right.
Indra Bowers:For the kid’s room, we have very strong opinions about this.
Paul M Bowers:Once Our Bird Has Flown, but let us talk a little bit on how the heck did we get into this house we like so much?
Indra Bowers:Yeah, so we were living in a little less than a thousand square foot craftsman house and I was pregnant and we decided we have to find a home and we couldn’t find anything we could afford in this neighborhood and so we started looking at other neighborhoods in San Diego and we made offers on five or six different houses. Every single time we got snaked out of the deal and I’m about eight months pregnant. Paul comes home from work one day and I’m sitting on the sofa and I just start crying; I can’t take this anymore. I took it personally; I think it was the hormones. I wasn’t normally like that but I just couldn’t put on offer on one more house, so we stopped and then after we had the baby we decided to start looking again and there had been this house three blocks from where we were living that our realtor had tried to get us to look at before but it was super expensive and it had no curb appeal. Paul actually…
Paul M Bowers:It was boring and she sent us by and we walked by well, Indra wobbled and I walked smartly and with great athlete precision.
Indra Bowers:[Laughter] A brisk walk with the dog.
Paul M Bowers:Yeah.
Indra Bowers:And I wobbled.
Paul M Bowers:And we looked at the house and at this point we were little bit fatigued and I called her and said don’t send us to properties like that anymore because it just upsets my wife.
Paul M Bowers:We are not going to pay that for a house that boring.
Indra Bowers:But then, she said; okay I’m taking you back to that house you didn’t think you wanted to buy, they dropped the price by $100,000 dollars and I think you have to be prepared because once you’ve seen the inside of it you’re going to want the house.
Paul M Bowers:And she was absolutely right and I had known her for a long time at this point. We’d done a number of house transactions with her and she called it and as soon as we walked in she was like; this is the place that we want. So we settled in and started doing stuff to it.
Indra Bowers: Yeah and Jesse got his own room and over the years it has been transformed as he’s gotten older and he built a beautiful work bench for him.
Paul M Bowers:Well I – [sigh], well one of the things that you get to do when you have a kid is that you get to have your childhood all over again.
Paul M Bowers:And we will get into that in another podcast and maybe a post even but what I always wanted in my bedroom was I wanted a work bench. I wanted a work bench that had cabinets in it, a big work top so I can do all kinds of things. And where I grew up we had something that was back in the little like laundry room or something but I wanted to have it in my own room.
So when there came a time when Jesse was in the infant stage, then the crib was gone and he had a youth bed, I went to I.K.E.A and I got a couple of kitchen cabinets and a big kitchen counter top and set it all up all along one end of his room and he sat there and he could build whatever he wanted to build and it started out with Thomas the Tank Engine.
Indra Bowers:Yes, and then moved on to the world of Legos.
Paul M Bowers:Legos, and he stayed in there for a long time on Legos and I got to say I was fortunate that until this day I do not have a Lego wound on my foot, but he built some fantastic Legos. He built the Eiffel Tower, he’s built all kind of things and so he has this work bench area and that has subsequently turned into the ITech heaven.
Indra Bowers:Yeah, that’s where he built his computers when he moved on from Legos.
Paul M Bowers:Right, then he built computers there, he built servers, at one point we had a server rack in the room.
Indra Bowers:[Laughter], That was ridiculous.
Paul M Bowers: It was cool, we had a whole bank of servers in there and of course the fans go off and even down the hall it’s too loud, it sounds like a couple of vacuum cleaners are running down there.
Indra Bowers:It’s crazy.
Paul M Bowers:But it was quite the utility room. He’s got obviously a lot of good use out of it. Right but now our bird is going to fly so now we have our eyes on that space.
Indra Bowers:And Paul has made it very clear to Jesse that, that room is about to go through a transformation. We don’t believe that a child room should remain a child’s room, we are not a fan of kids coming home after college and we—.
Paul M Bowers:Having a little shrine [laughter] it’s a shrine to you [cross talking].
Indra Bowers: Yeah.
Paul M Bowers:That kind of sends a message that we are not particularly fond of, we have never been the trophy for participation kind of thing and we have never elevated in that kind of way. We are not making it the shrine, it’s a functional living house and living and breathing it evolves and we have a Dusty Ham Shack in the back where we do this podcast from on forty meters lower on one side of land.
Indra Bowers: [Laughter].
Paul M Bowers: Okay I’m a keep—.
Paul M Bowers:[Laughter] And you know it’s the way it is and I have a crank up tower where I crank up the antenna in the air before we broadcast.
Paul M Bowers:Because of course it’s too big and the wind blows my antenna down.
Indra Bowers:[Laughter] Anyway…
Paul M Bowers: Nevertheless…
Indra Bowers:Back to the room, so we have made it clear to Jesse that he is always welcome to come home and spend time with us but not to come to his room.
Paul M Bowers:And his little mausoleum isn’t going to be there anymore we are going to do something else with it but before we get into that.
Paul M Bowers:I want to talk about our new sponsor.
Indra Bowers:Oh, this sponsor is near and dear to my heart.
Paul M Bowers:And ours.
Indra Bowers:[Laughter] Yeah. So thank you to our sponsor I.D.E.A. I.D.E.A is a marketing integrated agency that focuses on finding courageous solutions to its clients marketing problems. You can see their work at www.theideabrand.com. Full disclosure I am a partner in I.D.E.A
Paul M Bowers: And a founder.
Indra Bowers:And a founder and I’m super proud of the work our agency is doing for our clients. All different categories – hospitality, hair care, destination, some really interesting clients and some really fine work so go check us out online at theideabrand.com.
Paul M Bower: So we were talking about what’s going to happen to this room next.
Indra Bower:Oh, so let’s talk about the experience we had a few months ago when that darn server rack that we had to make room for… the server rack which meant that, here we were five months before our son’s going to leave, we are rearranging the room one more time and the book cases had to come out.
Paul M Bowers:Yeah, and they were two book cases, I’ve had them since before we met and they were actually in my old house which we could hear another podcast about it but I had these two kind of cheap book cases and we brought them in and painted he back sides of them orange and put you know knick knacks and books from baby books.
Indra Bowers:It just got jammed after seventeen years of stuff.
Paul M Bowers:And I looked at them and I said well, if we got rid of these book cases which we have to get rid of anyway, let’s just take the stuff out of the book cases and let’s get rid of the book cases and then we just bring in this computer server rack.
Indra Bowers:Oh it would be just as easy as that, so we thought.
Paul M Bowers:[Laughter].
Indra Bowers: One weekend we start the process with him of starting to unload the shelves and boy, was that a walk down memory lane.
Paul M Bowers:[ Cross talking] Like a big slap up, an emotional slap up inside the head.
Indra Bowers:Yeah, so after you’re going through shelves after shelves, well what about this book, what about this book oh, look at what we found here oh, here’s your book from third grade with all of your hand writing in it and on and on and the photos and the next thing you know and of course Jesse is like yep get rid of that, yep get rid of that and Paul and I are in the hall looking at each other holding each other, going like, oh my gosh, what’s happening.
Paul M Bowers:Well you were saying OMG what’s happening.
Paul M Bowers:Well this…
Indra Bowers:Yeah, yeah, sure.
Paul M Bowers: I didn’t have any emotional reaction to that [Laughter].
Indra Bowers:Yeah, we were not prepared for that.
Paul M Bowers:Yeah, and that was a good kick off for those who have a bird that’s about to fly I do suggest start early and get into some of these books and old shelves and toys and Lego stuff.
Indra Bowers:And figuring out what you want to do with it all.
Paul M Bowers:And actually do something with it.
Paul M Bowers: Because it starts to bring the reality to you and to your child that this is a process that’s starting to happen and while it was unexpectedly difficult but at the same time it was unexpectedly important to get through that so we moved out the book cases and donated them to some friends who’ve got younger kid, who’s going to stack it full so, they went to a good place. So we brought in the computer server rack and it did not last for… [laughter].
Indra Bowers:It wasn’t even a month.
Paul M Bowers:[Laughter] it was about six weeks and then we go because it was just too large and Jesse ended up taking that up to his high school and he actually started a class and was teaching a class in servers and networking systems.
Indra Bowers:Yeah, that was cool. So anyway so, now we have got this freaking hole in his room which is a little bit odd but it’s the first step towards his eventual move out and we still have tons of stuff like drawers and cabinets to go through but tell us your plans for that room.
Paul M Bowers: Well, ever since Jesse was accepted at college I didn’t want to do it; I didn’t want to jinx it and then after he was accepted at college I would sneak in there after he left for school with a measuring tape and figure out okay, I have always wanted to put a set of sliding doors that go right out to the garden right here instead of this window and I would never do it when we had a teen because it was just too tempting for him to sneak out or have people sneak in. So now I can put a patio door out into that tiny garden that I built for you long ago,.
Indra Bowers: Yeah, that’s beautiful.
Paul M Bowers:And we can put in all the usual stuff that one needs to put in a room, all the networking systems.
Indra Bowers:What about the disgusting carpets?
Paul M Bowers:The audio systems, the disgusting carpets that has hair from your dog, the whole thing gets gutted, sanded, painted, new flooring, the windows, the new window coverings and one big king size bed. So it can be a second master suit if we wanted, if one or the other of us might have a snoring problem.
Indra Bowers: [Cleared throat].
Paul M Bowers:One or the other of us might have a snoring problem we don’t know.
Indra Bowers:Glass houses [laughter].
Paul M Bowers:Don’t threw stones at me!
Paul M Bowers: So we can do that, we can finally have house guests and…
Indra Bowers:They can be fully comfortable.
Paul M Bowers:Really comfortable and I’m going to break my…
Indra Bowers:I guess this is the open invitation we’ve just put it out there to the world.
Paul M Bowers: To all of our podcast guests if you would like to stay in the Lincoln bedroom, we’ll call it the Lincoln’s bedroom [Laughter].
Indra Bowers:[Laughter] Here at the Our Bird Has Flown.
Paul M Bowers:Just like the Clinton’s, you will sell off [Laughter].
Indra Bowers: [Laughter] at the Podcast Ranch.
Paul M Bowers: Now the WB6QWD studio.
Indra Bowers:At the Dusty Ham Shack.
Paul M Bowers:You can come and be a guest on our podcast, no let’s not do this somebody is going to come and they’re going to take us up on it.
Indra Bowers:The aregoing to take us up on it.
Paul M Bowers:I guess it all boils down to the money.
Indra Bowers:Or if they’re an interesting guest.
Paul M Bowers:It could be if they’re an interesting guest or an expert in the field we can do it remotely even, nevertheless we side track now.
Paul M Bowers:So it could be a guest room, a second master suit and a choice when Jesse, if Jesse would come home for summer time, he would have a place to stay there if he doesn’t mind.
Indra Bowers:How do you think it would feel for him to come home but it’s not his room, anymore.
Paul M Bowers:I think it is already difficult for him, he’s tired of us.
Indra Bowers:[Laughter] He’s done with us.
Paul M Bowers:He’s done with us, he’s moving on, he’s like; oh yeah I’ve got this guys.
Indra Bowers:Wait! but what does that feel like, when you come home the only home you’ve known only your room is not like your room anymore?
Paul M Bowers:Well there are a couple things about it that I think are important. I like the message that you are flying, you are flying from this nest and as much as we love you it is also extremely important that you learn to fly and if we are constantly picking you up, if we are holding you and saying flap your little wings, then you’re never going to learn how to fly.
Indra Bowers: But the nest is still right here.
Paul M Bowers:[ Cross talking]
Indra Bowers:Your room is still right here with all your crap.
Paul M Bowers:[Laughter] No all your crap is going. You know I told him everything is going to be empty out of there and whatever is not empty, off it goes.
Indra Bowers: We have ninety days to make that happen.
Paul M Bowers: I know so all the Portal, the plastic Portal guns and the light sabers and the ex-wing fighter Legos stuff is all going to go because we are not keeping that stuff. Now podcast listeners, we are not heartless folks, we promise you we have kept a lot of precious things and obviously a lot of photographs, you can see the photographs at ourbirdhasflown.com. And we have all that stuff but a lot of this junk hey, if you want it you can have it [laughter].
Indra Bowers: Oh brother.
Paul M Bowers: Just send us a self-addressed stamped envelope and we will give you an inventory [laughter]. So yeah, as soon as he’s out and established then the construction begins, the revamp on that room begins and I’m excited to see how it works out. Now as far as how it feels…
Indra Bowers:Well yeah, so when I when I went off to college my parents had moved and so my bedroom was gone right away, until they had moves into a new place and it was never said that it was my room and I would visit them from college and I was in the guest bedroom. So it always kind of felt like this is a temporary transitory thing, and it’s not where I would ever come and live again and I guess that’s really what we are really hoping.
Paul M Bowers: Yeah and for me when I went off to college I didn’t actually leave town but I lived independently and I had a roommate and I lived actually a couple of miles from our parents in my neighbourhood, there was a bunch of guys from the neighbourhood and we got a great deal from somebody’s mom’s investment property or something and when we lived there it was a great condo but I didn’t move back so, I would visit and sometimes it would be really nice and sometimes I would come in and have a nice meal and maybe do my laundry and that was it. I think that would be the same thing for Jesse but we are going to have to see.
Indra Bowers: Yeah.
Paul M Bowers: So
Indra Bowers:Ah, it hurts, my heart flutters.
Paul M Bowers: [Laughter] Well, that’s it from the Dusty Urban Ham Shack studio of WB6QWD the headquarters of Our Bird Has Flown podcast. I’m Paul M Bowers, I’m here with Indra Bowers, we wanted to say thank you to our sponsors today greenfreshfloral.com and,
Indra Bowers: I.D.E.A www.theideabrand.com.
Paul M Bowers:Great folks down there especially that leader she’s a — [sigh].
Paul M Bowers: You can visit our website at www.ourbirdhasflown.com.
Our podcast is remotely produced by Brian Thomas at Yokai Audio in Kalamazoo Michigan. Thanks for clicking in and we will see you soon.
[End of Music].